Some suggestions:
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think ★
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. ★
If your relationship status says, Its complicated than you should stop kidding yourself and change it to Single ★
I wouldnt steal a car but id download one if i could. ★
You feel Worthless, Remember, You Were Once The Quickest Sperm :) ★
Poor Justin Bieber.. everyone picks on her ... ★
Its OK Pluto, im not a planet either. ★
Watching the bouncing DVD logo and waiting for it to hit a corner .. ★
Doing nothing when you know you should be doing something important... ★
I Have Always Wanted to Get in a Cab and Say - FOLLOW THAT CAR !! ★
Making life decisions in the shower.. ★
lyrics that explain exactly how you feel ★
I am pretty sure youre not a car. Get an actual photo for your profile ★
When. I. Read. Stuff. Like. This. The. Voice. In. My. Head. Takes. Pauses. ★
Microsoft Word Will Never Understand That My Name is NOT a Spelling Mistake ★
OMG, Biggest lie ever: I have read and agree to the terms of use ! ★
A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood. ★
I havent lost it, I just Cant Find It !! ★
Dear homework, youre not attractive and Im not doing you ! ★ ;
If nothing is going right... GO LEFT! :) ★
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor.. ★
I would rather check my Facebook then face my checkbook ★
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. ★
Evening news is where they begin with Good evening, and then proceed to tell you why it isnt. ★
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. ★
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. ★
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught. ★
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! ★